Sunday, March 26, 2006


Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

The other line always moves faster.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.

If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India..

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,please sanction me one-week leave.

2.This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it,please grant me 10 days leave."

5.Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.

7. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the well."

13.A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post

Thursday, March 23, 2006


History has its own funny way to surprise and when you think that this is the turning point, to your utter displeasure nothing happens. September 11 when the twin towers came crashing down the whole landscape changed for good or for bad history will be the judge. And one of the new pieces of the changing landscape came as the Indo-US nuclear deal. The world order which has not changed for decades is changing and changing for only one country India. The world’s largest democracy, a land of billion people, multi ethnic, mutli religious, a peace loving nation. But has the world woken up to this fact now. Something must have changed which brought years of isolation in the nuclear field to an end. 8% GDP growth is an attraction but most importantly the ripples created by the twin towers reached Indian shores. The think tank in US has realized that for a stable world order rise of nations like India is important. And with a single master stroke they brought the two of the greatest democracies closer. It is a win win deal for both the nations. India on its part gets recognized as a nuclear power. But more importantly the nuclear isolation which has to some extent slowed India’s nuclear energy has been reignited. And the nation which is hungry for energy resources has one more option. But the more important question is what the US is getting. India with more than 300 million middle class is a huge market for the US goods. With the ever growing India’s defense budget companies like Lockheed martin are looking sell the f-16 and the f-18. And some thinker also sees a third angle to it, the China factor. And the most important factor for me is that the US wants to engage India strategically as a growing Asian powerhouse. But let’s not jump to far too quickly. This deal has to go through the US senate and by all indications it will sail through. And then there is the question of the NSG and there also thinks are looking up with backing from France, Britain and Russia.
But the angle which took me by surprise was the not the criticism but the kind of it. Major US dailies clubbed India with countries like North Korea and came down heavily on India for it’s refusal to sign the NPT. Is it ignorance on the part of the writer’s or is India perceived in a way which we all are in denial. Many critics feel that this is the final nail in the NPT as by rewarding India they have put the very existence of NPT in doubt. Another surprise was Thomas Friedman who in his New York Times column published on Wednesday said: “We should not go ahead with this deal until India is ready to halt its production of weapon-grade material”. Has he lost touch with the reality India will never does that. And let us not forget years of isolation have hardened India’s nuclear program. And the assumption by some observer’s about the support for this deal is greatly mistaken. India stands as one on the matter of foreign policy. There might be rumblings but the domestic support to the India’s nuclear program has never been stronger.
Ultimately, there are no better alternatives. It’s better for everyone to have the India’s nuclear program under IAEA safeguards. And let’s not keep our eyes closed when the world order is changing. Recognize the arrival of a nation which has the capacity to become the next big thing. Recognize the RISE OF A NATION.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


There's one sad truth in life i've found
While journeying east to west..
The only folks we really wound
Are those.. we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best..
~Ella Wilcox Wheeler

These beautiful lines sent to me by a friend made me think is this the life we live and are we really doing this or it's a figment of imagination of a poet ...but then is it just an imagination or the fact of life....ask yourself...and you will get an answer answer that might remind of all the thoughtless acts we commit coz the people who love us are always taken for granted.I am not trying to sound sad or regretful..i am not but shouldn't the peolple who love us be treated in the most caring way....but then will we be human...we are never satisfied by what we have ...and time goes...and something like this poem comes along your way and makes you think...but then this is life and this is us....

Saturday, March 11, 2006


Our friendship is not momentary,
And will ever last,
For the imprints of your personality,
In our heart is cast.

The footprints of your memories,
Won't be washed out by waves of times,
We will feel the warmth of your sucess,
As in life you will suceed and shine.

Though we feel very sad,
As we have to part,
But you will be with us,
Enevelope in the tendons of our heart.

No distance can break our relationship,
For across nature our life will loom,
For we will breath the same air,
And harboured by the same sun and moon.

In the life there are some impressive persons,
You are one of the very few,
For the sky shall be your limit,
And nobody can stop you.

You are going to a land strange,
And will be starting a life new,
So look over the friend,
A new dawn is waiting for you.

Our best wishes will be with you,
To reach the zenith of the sky,
With this..I stop my friend,
Bidding you..a tearful goodbye.

My treasured memories

With you bossom friend
Long hours i wish to spend
Pearls of my life were scattered
With your help some i gatthered
Your trust i implore
I know it's not good to demand in gallore
But i want to say
Today i am nervous and tense
Only from you i desire an influnce


I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

This is one of those pieces which reminds u world is still beautiful,nice and appeals to me even more as i love flowers


HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

Friday, March 10, 2006

FRIENDS : Friends are born, not made

Joey - "How you doin'?" (Joey says this in a deep, self-confident voice.)
This line is probably the most frequently repeated line on the show, but it's still funny every single time cuz its so Joey trying to be the ladies man

Chandler - "Oh...... my...... God!" (Said with long pauses between words).
This line was made famous by Chandler's annoying, nasal-speaking ex-girlfriend, Janice. The phrase was even funnier when it came out of Chandler's mouth when Janice came back.

Ross - "We were on a break!" (Usually spoken in a whiny voice). Ross has used this excuse more than a couple of times, since he got together with another girl and destroyed his relationship with Rachel.

Monica -"Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!"
- Monica, to Rachel in The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate

Joey- Heh. Let me get this straight. He got you to *beg* to sleep with him. He got you to say he *never* has to call you again. And he got you thinking this is a *great* idea?
Phoebe: [weakly] Uh-huh.
Joey: This man is my God!

Chandler: ...And I'm not sure about this actor guy, because when he left a message and he heard my name "Chandler Bing", he said "Woah! Short message!"

Monica: Okay, everybody. Relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?

Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her. It's her wedding day.
Joey: What? Like there’s some rule or something

Joey : She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off me. I'm not even sure what "slathering" is, but I definitely wanna be a part of it.

Ross : "I can't believe you two had sex in her dream!"
Chandler : "Well, I'm sorry. It was a one time thing, I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious."

Joey: It's never gonna happen.
Ross: What?
Joey: You and Rachel.
Ross: Me and Rachel? Me and Rachel? ... why not?
Joey: Because, you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Ross: I am not in the zone.
Joey: Ross, you're mayor of the zone.

Monica: "The camera adds ten pounds"
Chandler : "So how many cameras were actually on you?

Rachel : "Oh honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean he's going to be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced."
Monica : "Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married."

Chandler :Don't worry, Joey. I'm sure that when the right woman comes along, you'll be responsible enough to say, "Sorry, I'm married."

Rachel -“...Because it is too damn hard, I can't even begin to explain to you how much I gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes me not want to go.

Phoebe : They don't know that we know they know we know.

Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

Reporter: I like that. what's your name?
[pointing tape recorder at Pheobe]
Phoebe : Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in... Ello there mate.

Rachel: Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.

Ross: What if there is only one woman for everybody? You know. What if I get one woman and that's it? Unfortunately in my case there was one woman... for her.
Joey: Ross, relax that's like saying there's only one flavor of ice-cream for you. Let me tell you something Ross, there's lots of flavors out there. There's rocky road, cookie dough and bing! Cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know whether I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: You stay out of my freezer.

Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.